Luigi's split personality (Teaser/ Tumblr exclusive)
By: C. Mechayoshi
Author note: Something I made a while ago and never released here. Let me know if you'd like me to work on it again. Other than this note, and the new summary (that I changed to be less snarky) this is mostly unedited from the first date above.
Me and my brother Mario, had Bowser cornered. It was about time, we'd traversed through seven lands to foil one of Bowser's schemes once again, and boy, it wasn't easy. Many lives were lost, and powerups ran through. We'd made it though, and now that Bowser had been bopped several times by the both of us, it was just a matter of finishing the job. Me and Mario stood on each side of the rotten King. I had my fire power up still, but Mario, being a less cautious like me as usual, got himself hit a few times. He was small Mario.
"Weegee?" Mario asked. "I'll let you do the honor."
My heart fluttered at the opportunity. He was letting me do this? But wait, why? Mario was probably just saying that because he didn't have a powerup. Yeah, that's it. Would he do the same if the situation was reversed? Probably not. That's life.
"Uh, okay bro!" I replied, trying to not let sound like he was getting to me. I shot a fireball at Bowser.
"Yow!" Bowser cried, helplessly squirming around. "Just end the game already, you useless plumbers!"
"Hey, I got an idea..." I mumbled without thinking. I approached Bowser something compelled me to start going through his pockets. Mario observed me all wierd and then jumped back when I jolted up with my prize.
A coin! Wait...that's what I was looking for?
"What is it, bro?" Mario asked.
"A...a coin?" I stared at in in my hand for a while. Why did I do this?
Mario wagged his finger in his annoying big brother way. "It's not about the treasure, Luigi!"
"Wa! It's always about the treasure! WAHA HA HA!" I blurted out. Then covered my mouth embarrassingly. What the heck?
Mario pouted. Of course, I was just annoying him. Never mind it was him who went through most of our powerup supply because he wouldn't look before he leaped, or the auto scroll wouldn't move fast enough, or he'd risk it for a Star Coin knowing we could retry the level any time for it! What was I talking about? Oh yeah, Mario bopped on Bowser one more time and the king gave up. Whatever happened to letting me finish the job?
Whatever. I was one coin richer than him, oh yeah! Go Weegee….Uhg.
Later that day, after the usual crap that happened when I..I mean Mario of course, saved the day, there was nothing to do. We were home again, and I was chilling on my bed, trying to, I don't know, WIND DOWN like normal people do after grueling adventures when Mario was still bouncing around the place.
Wonder why he's never lost weight?
Anyway, Mario barged into our room, which isn't really barging I guess if we both own it, but whatever, this is my story…
"Hey, Weegee! How about a tennis game!" Mario said in his usual strident fashion.
I put my magazine of choice "Green Magazine" down. "Today?!"
Mario nodded eagerly. I couldn't be annoyed. Mario seemed to carefree, so happy, he was like a cartoon character. "Even Bowser will play with us!"
"Bowser?" I asked. After we just beat his butt two hours ago? Was the Koopa King bipolar or stupid?
"Yeah. Come on, we can beat him. Let's-a go!" Mario did an unnecessary somersault from the doorway into the middle of our room. He dropped to his knees and reached under his bed for something. A moment later he pulled out his custom made 'M' emblem racket, and mine too. It looked like his, but with an 'L'. What did you expect my racket to have, a 'W'?
What an oddly specific letter to think of...
Mario tossed to to me, without me being ready and waltzed out of the room, like he expected me to follow or something...Well it worked, because I did. You win this time, big bro.
The match ended up being at the generic grass course that was bland and well, grassy. It offended or interested no one, so it was perfect for mindless games of tennis. The weather was nice at least and the area it was in was away from downtown Toad Town, so it was quiet as well. Maybe this wouldn't be that bad...
Mario and I went through the gates and a few friends were already on field. I saw the princesses, Yoshi, Toad, Koopa, Bowser and his bratty son of course, and a few non participants, like Kylie Koopa to reporter.
She took a million pictures, in the span of time it took to walk past her. Anyway, we had our greetings and Mario bounced around like usual.
"Grr! So you finally showed up after that beating I gave you!" Bowser gloated.
"I'm-a gonna get you!" Mario said back to his face. This was so staged, how did anyone believe it? Mario and the rest kind of grouped together on the opposite side of Bowser and Junior like a standoff of sorts. I was still standing off to the side near Kylie.
"Hey, can I get a group picture of you peeps?" Kylie asked holding her camera. I never noticed how nice those earrings of hers looked. Those pink diamond earrings. Those expensive diamond earrings...
Mario and the rest, even Bowser, grouped together for a photo with the field in the background. I was left out of it, and no one noticed of course.
"Cheese!" everyone repeated. The flash went off, and their smiles dropped so they could pretend to be angry and stuff again. Suddenly I heard Kylie gasp.
Kylie looked around her. "My earrings! Where did they go?!"
"Look on the ground," Daisy said quickly.
"Sister, they were just on! How did- what's that?" She gave me a weird look. And then I realized why.
The earrings were in my hands….
To be continued.
(Original) Summary: Luigi slowly develops a split personality, and it isn't Mr. L, or any other cliche. He isn't abused either (another cliche in itself), but there will be angst (so I guess you can't escape all cliches after all). You'll never believe what it actually is!
Luigi's Split Personality, part 2
All of those shocked faces pointing my way! The worst part were the eyes like lasers impaling my body, including my heart.. My chest tightened as the sunlight seemed to blaze and blind me. My knees weakened as my posture slumped and the world turned sideways. I was gonna be si!-
"Oh Luigi found them!"
Kylie the Koopa reporter snatched the earrings away from my jittery palms. Oh yeah. I was kind of holding the evidence under everyone's noses. The reporter stared at the gold jewelry closely and then her lips made a thin line. "The diamonds are missing ya know," she remarked sharply. I gulped while others groaned.
"Maybe they popped out when they hit the floor," Daisy suggested, stepping up a little closer. I could tell from the look on her face is was annoyed.
Peach shook her head. "I don't think so, Daisy. Those kinds of earrings are held together by a screw. Someone would have to be a talented and natural scoundrel to do it so quickly and seamlessly.
I felt sick again and I didn't know why. Those things were NOT me so why was I so.. a mess?
Bowser emitted a low growl, stepping up and shoving everyone aside to get to Kylie. "Listen, this is going on WAY TOO LONG! Reporter chick can glue back together her tacky jewelry on the sidelines. Let's get to the flipping game already!" His outburst seemed to shake everyone to the core and the message got through. There was a game to be at hand and no one took sports more seriously than Mario!
Kylie stomped off I saw and then the crew made their may back to the court, leaving me. Sweet relief! Saved by Bowser! I plopped down on the metal sideline bench like a few others, under half of a nearby palm tree specifically so I didn't faint. That was freaking weird as heck. Only a professional thug like Larry Koopa could do that.
Larry… Hmm. NO. Unless. Why'd I think of him? Me and Koopalings mixed like blooper ink and water… Uhg. Now I know why I blotted it out. I did try to reach out but only because Larry dealt with digital currency and he had this digital casino thing. Don't judge me, Wario took my wallet last Mario Kart and I couldn't even get it back because the douche lost it himself. That was a nice wallet. I was green. You know how rare those things are?
Thinking so much uncharacteristically made me tired. I leaned on my left elbow as my eye lids got heavier than a thwomp. Very weird as heck, I reiterated as one lid dropped. Very.. very.. weird.. And that was it. I was gonna sleep through a game and that was okay.
Ouch, what the?!
I aggressively lifted back up as laying my body on the side of the bleachers got me stabbed by something in my side pocket I don't remember being there. What? A little screwdriver? How?
Next. I don't know why but my neck craned to the right and there was Bowser Junior going between watching his dad, hogging up the best shady spot, and playing his Nintendo Switch. Dare I ask?
"This isn't yours is it?" I asked him. Perhaps his six year old child not only stole the diamonds from the earrings that he snatched from the most hawk eyed reporter without anyone noticing, but maybe he slipped it in my pockets too, even though I'm extremely sensitive to the touch-
No you idiot! My hand ran through my hair, slightly matted by the sweat.
"I was having a totally super hard pro gamer Fox only Final Destination no items match. Now what?" Junior replied literally five minutes later, giving the game a rest on his lap.
I mumbled something because by then I was busy with a new activity. It was a vague feeling. I was doing 'something' and intellectually and artsy, yet a part of my consciousness was missing. I just knew it was totally cool wicked!
Junior curiously faced my way for the first time and gasped. "MY SPECIAL THINGY!" In childish rage he flung that Switch down to the ground. Clack! The Joy-Cons detached and bounced all the way to the tennis field and under Yoshi's feet. He slipped just as the ball was heading his way and it flew over his head and whacked into his doubles partner Mario's gut, which bounced it again to the left where Peach sat in the umpire seat sipping tea. The rogue controller shattered her glass and made her stumble back which meant that Toad got splashed with the liquid and with that, the score sheet was ruined. The game was over.
"Ahhh! Noooo! We were wining!" Bowser roared. He glanced to Daisy, his doubles partner, and the princess was about to blow up as well.
Peach dusted off from the back flip and with a huff snatched up the chipped Joy Con. "Who is responsible for this?" she all but piercingly screamed.
I saw Bowser's red eyes drag across the field to the bleachers and rest his son stomping the ground.
Junior's finger jut out at my face. "I only threw it because he stole my stuff!"
"Liar," I replied immediately. "We've been next to each other the entire time so how did I try anything? And look, you graffiti the entire spot in front of us with 'Mario sucks, Junior rules.' Who else would write that? Hey, you over there is a witness too," I pointed out to Kylie Koopa. She'd not entirely left the scene after all and was at the far opposite end of the bleachers, still snapping photos I'd notice some time, even if dejectedly.
The middle aged koopa woman however gave me the most pitiful look. She clicked her tongue and then folder her arms, leaving the camera to dangle around her neck. "Listen sticky-fingers. If ya gonna try to use me as a witness of your innocence, don't use the very thing ya stole to point at me."
My eyebrow shifted downwards, as I was taken back. The stuck the thing I'd pointed with under my elbow so that I could in turn fold my arms as the ridiculousness of that. Problem was, that object was the magic paintbrush, or as I once knew it the Gaddbrush or as I knew it in that moment the 'Luigi-your-screwed-brush'.
Author note: Hey, I just had this draft written out way since 3/20/19. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with this story but it felt a disservice to keep it forever not uploaded. Think I should pick it back up?