Title: Return Customer
Category: Games » Mario
Author: C. Mechayoshi
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T
Genre: Sci-Fi/Humor
Published: 05-21-17, Updated: 05-21-17
Chapters: 1, Words: 1,452

Chapter 1: Episode 1: Mario Pinball Land

Return Customer

Episode 1: Mario Pinball Land

Summary: Mario and friends are ever eager to Bowser to star heaven after his plans fail. It's Rosalina's job to send him back, but not before a little chat. Request from: Barbacar. Art: JamesmanTheRegenold

Created: 5/20/17. Edited 4/17/28

Edit notes: Tobacco references removed

Author note: My first request story. Very interesting to write. This will be episodic, not so much continuous.


Bowser's Pov.

My plan was flawless. Peach was almost asking for it… Well more than usual, with her not having security and what not. So her and her bozo citizens were just waiting in line to ride that new Sky Cannon thing. All it took was for some of my Goomba foot soldiers to aim the cannon loaded with Peach straight to my castle. What was Mario gonna do, roll himself into a ball and launch himself?

Well, that's just what the pesky plumber did. He went through my whole castle like a BALL and even managed to defeat me like this. I hate balls! Er, nevermind. Anyway, he used his paddle things against ME, and shot me out of my own home! Dang, shot me far too. I don't know if he was using titanium paddles or what cause he shot me into SPACE!

Eh, I'll be back next week. Cause for me, this just meant another visit with…her again….


The Comet Observatory had just made another orbit around the galaxy when Polari, the Black Luma, spotted something on the radar. "Head's up, your highness. We have another defeated villain heading this way!" He glanced back to Rosalina, who was partially obscured by smoke.

"Mario's special one must have been in danger. It's Bowser again," Rosalina mused, the platinum blonde princess lounging on her throne casually. "Oh, and you can open the window if you wish, Polari."

Polari chucked. "I'm used to it, your highness. It's only been a few thousand years!"

The two deific beings laughed as a solid thud was heard nearby, signaling Bowser's painful landing.

Watchdog Lumas worked up a frenzy, immediately swarming around the dazed and confused Bowser.

"Villain launchee alert! Protect the Princess!" A Luma screamed.


Bowser's pov

I rubbed my head as these star freaks went mad around me, making my headache worse. "Shut up, already! OW!" I screamed.

Next thing I knew, Rosalina walked up, calming her brat little children. "King Bowser," she said in a low voice.

I rolled my eyes. "You. Nice welcoming commitee you got here. They do this every time."

"It's only their job. Come along," she said, leading the way back into her observation room. I was annoyed, but she was my only ticket home. Might as well.

Her observation room was this neat little lodge area. I'll have to admit I'm impressed everytime I see it. Too bad about that smoke smell. Polari also gave me look upon seeing Rosalina return with me, but screw him. I glared back and he got the point, turning around to focus back on the radar. As I saw Rosalina returning to her fancy looking chair, I fanned the air. "Smokier than usual eh?" I groaned.

Rosalina smiled, not bothering to tame the incense. "Just tell me what you did this time." She ashed it over an ash tray that sat on the table in front of her. That was a new addition, and it was beautiful as well, elegantly sculpted out of some kind of light blue material. Wonder where she ordered her furniture from in space? My castle could use a remodel or two and- I mean, wait, what's wrong with me?

"I don't even wanna talk about it…" I exclaim, getting back to my senses.

Rosalina consequently snapped her fingers, summoning two Lumas. "Prepare the Cosmic cannon-"

"Wait, wait, okay!" I stammered. Dang, she's straight to the point today, and anything else to delay being shot through the sky AGAIN. I took a seat on her lush dark blue carpet. "So like, the Mario idiots had this pinball canon thing at the local Fun Fair."

"Pinball?" Rosalina asked.

"Yeah. It's this game we have, ahead of your time I guess." This is an older woman, I have to remind myself. Hey, I don't judge! "Anyway fungus faces were launching themselves out of it and low and behold, I get a report from some spies I sent down there that Peach was gonna try it next. I told them to aim it my way and they did! Peach was literally launched right into my palms! What could go wrong?"

"I lot…" Polari muttered. I gave him another death stare. Rosalina continued to silently listen.

"Well, you have a point, star freak. It did go horribly wrong. Turns out that fat plumber is just as surprisingly athletic as a ball. He went through all of the worlds justing using these pinball paddle things with himself as the projectile. He defeated countless members of my army that way. That's just stupid, right?"

"It's stupid to go after the same princess every time," Rosalina snarked, "but pray tell, he didn't defeat YOU the same way?"

Ugh, I knew she would ask that. "Well…he kind of did….But I was having an off day! Okay?! What?"

Rosalina and Polari laughed like mad! Rosalina just laughed harder and harder. Was it that funny?!

"Ugh! Just launch me already!" I huffed, covering my ears.

Rosalina finally stopped. "As you wish then…" She snapped and suddenly my world went dark. I was in some kind of tube and I could only look upwards to see a circular opening. I could only be inside of a giant cosmic cannon!

"What the? This one is bigger than usual?" I attempted to scream. I couldn't tell how much anyone could hear me, or where I even was.


Since Bowser wasn't in a conversing mood today, Rosalina had no choice but to grant his wish. She surely couldn't keep the Koopa King around otherwise.

"It's a new model," Rosalina said slyly after she heard Bowser causing a ruckus. This cannon was indeed bigger than usual. Rosalina had been receiving quite a lot of villains lately, and this model, invented by her and some of her most brilliant Lumas, could send multiple people at once. It was situated in the garage area and her acquaintance was going to be the cannon's madien launch.

"I enjoyed our little talk, and you were quite entertaining. There isn't always much of that in the cold depths of space after all, and for that thank you, Bowser. Do see me again."

Bowser continued in his muffled protest as Rosalina lit the fuse with one of the incense. A second later, Bowser was sent back to Earth with a deafening boom.

Polari, who had caught up just then, watched Bowser become another twinkle in the black starry sky. The two stood silently as star-bits hit the ground nearby. He finally turned to Rosalina.

"You sure you want him back, your highness?" he asked with uncertainty.

Rosalina smiled. "It doesn't matter, he will be back."

Another luma rushed to the two, bouncing up and down excitingly.

"What's the matter, dear?" Rosalina asked.

The Luma stopped and looked to the ground. "Umm. Can I visit Earth please?! There's a new video game coming out and I have to have it!"

"A new videogame?" Rosalina mused. She was not stranger to videogames. She was even in a couple, as she understood, but she had more important concerns. Still, if her children were into it. "Okay, fine. But what is it called?"

The Luma's eyes lit up. "Mario Pinball Land!"


Kamek shook the roofing company worker's hand. He'd just finished patching the hole in the roof from Bowser being launched.

"I thank you for not being afraid to venture into Dark Land for such emergency repairs," Kamek said sincerely.

The worker shrugged. "Sure, anything for the Koopa Kingdom. Say, what went through this roof anyway? That hole was the size of five Koopas!"

"Nothing!" Kamek answered quickly.

Just then there was another crash! Bowser had returned from space, making another hole in the roof. Rock and dust filled Bowser's room once more and the commotion summoned guards to the area.

"What the?!" the worker gawked.

"Her aiming skills have improved," Kamek thought to himself.

"Where were you?" Koopas asked as they swarmed Bowser, not entirely unlike before.

Bowser groggily sat up. "Just visiting an old friend..."

To be continued.