Title: Monster Mix-Up
Category: Games » Mario
Author: C. Mechayoshi
Language: English, Rating: Rated: K+
Genre: Adventure/Parody
Published: 02-04-16, Updated: 11-08-16
Chapters: 6, Words: 6,818

Monster Mix-Up

Summary: Based off of the Nintendo Adventure Book, Bowser is making mega-monsters and its up to Mario and friends to stop him!

Created: 2/3/16

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo and the Adventure Books to Archway Paperback

Mario and his friends were at the 'Koopa and Kailey Circus'. They observed the various freaks being displayed in cages such as a Chain Chomp mixed with a Ptooey.

"It's nice to see these weirdos in cages for once," Mario said, although he had never seen anything as freaky as that. He shrugged and took a bite out of his corn dog. "It's about time we got a day off for fun."

"I'm hungry," Luigi complained.

"Why didn't ya get a corn dog like me?"

"Did you see the nutrition value on those? I'm watching my figure, here."

"Watch your figure? You're as thin as rails!" the Mushroom King spoke up. He was tagging along with the Princess and Toad.

"Luigi has a point. I wouldn't personally eat anything from a circus.." Peach agreed.

"Whatever, more for me!" Toad shouted, burying his face in a cup of popcorn half the size of him.

Luigi pouted and looked at his watch. The trapeze act and tightrope walkers wouldn't be showing for another hour.

"Now what? The freak show is...well...freaking me out!"

"Hey!" Toad yelled as he lifted his head from the popcorn, "Let's have a picture taken in that tent over there."

"That's not a bad idea, I am wearing one of my new dresses," Peach added.

They headed to the tent. Outside it, it had a sign:

CANDID SNAPSHOTS OF YOU WITH THE RICH AND FAMOUS

Inside, there was life-sized cardboard cutouts of the King, Peach, and Mario. There were also props with binoculars, a shower stall, and a window. They weren't kidding about the candid part.

"People are weird," Mario said simply.

The friends lined up in front of a giant camera. The moment they stood on the "x" spots the camera man shouted-

"Okaynowsmilesuckers!" A blinding flash goes off.

After a few seconds Mario's vision cleared, but something was terribly wrong.

To be continued...

Author note : This was the first Nintendo Adventure Book I read and honestly, it's not best. The story itself is fine, but the book is well... confusing (it's a CYOA so you can already imagine how things can go wrong). You can find the text online though, if you're curious. It does have plenty of material to either rewrite or parody so stay tuned for next time!

Monster Mix Up

Chapter Two

Created : 3/24/16

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo and the Adventure Books to Archway Paperback

"Oooh!"

The Mushroom King was blind from the flash. He turned to the side that Peach was on.

"Are you going to post these pictures on that blog of yours, dear? What is it called? Myface?-"

"THE PRINCESS IS GONE!" Mario interrupted. By then, everyone had their vision back. The scene was as it was but minus one Princess.

"M-Mario! She couldn't have gone far!" Luigi said rolling up his sleeves in an effort to look tough. He got a chill however and instantly pulled them back down, sulking.

"Umm, well anyway...let's just look for her," Toad chipped in. "I mean, we know she isn't in another castle at least. Huh? Huh?"

No one laughed.

"I don't get that reference. Just find my daughter!" The King screamed.

"Don't worry. We will take this tent apart if we have to," Mario said.

"TAKE IT APART! TAKE IT APART!'" loud voices from outside the tent echoed. Just then, a random circus ball flew through the entrance into Luigi's face. He fell backwards into a support pole for the tent.

"Yo, don't knock the tent down, Luigi," Toad said eating popcorn once again.

"YO, DON'T KNOCK IT DOWN! YO, DON'T KNOCK IT DOWN!" the voices called back.

"What is going on? Help somebody!" the King was frantic.

"HELP SOMEBODY. HELP SOMEBODY."

"I have an idea," Mario thought to himself. Then he said out loud, " HEY! My momma so ugly, they thought she was a freak show escapee!"

"MY MOMMA SO UGLY THEY THOUGHT...wait..." the chanting suddenly stopped and strange whispers could be heard.

"That shut you mimicking weirdos up," Mario said satisfied. Just then the group no doubt responsible for the chanting barged in. They were clowns in thick makeup and in silly costumes.

"Wait!" said the King.

"Stop!" Luigi begged.

"My popcorn!" Toad cried.

The the clowns were not letting up. One clown yanked the Kings beard, pulling out some hair. Another clown threw a random rug over Toad. Luigi saw this as an opportunity to be "brave" again. So he walked up to the nearest clown, took a deep breath, clenched his fists and said-

"Hey you, uh...bozo!"

"Well that is my name, bucko," the clown, apparently Bozo, replied full of amusement.

"Y-You need t-to- Oh forget thi- HEY!" Luigi was interrupted by another bright colored circus ball. He fell to the ground and Bozo bounced away on a pogo stick. The other clowns seemed to disperse as well as the King ran to Luigi's aid.

"Luigi, my dear boy! Are you okay? Why are you so flat?! I knew you were skinny but my Goodness!"

"Umm, that's a cut-out of me, your highness..." Luigi mumbled from underneath a pile of cutouts.

"Say, why do they have cut-outs of a shower stall?"

"Uh.. People are weird?" Mario answered wishing to change the subject quickly. "I'm just glad those clowns are gone."

"But, Peach is still missing!" the King was panicking again.

"Yeah, like she couldn't have just vanished," Toad shrugged. " Well unless she had a invisibility potion, or a warp whistle, or she's being sold off as a slave in a foreign land..."

Everyone stared at Toad.

"Okay, we need clues. The Princess was last standing where?" Mario asked.

"Beside me, right where..hey! There's a slit in the tent here!" the King pointed out.

Mario peeked out of the tent.

"Hmm. Looks like from here, whoever took Peach could have went to either the Hall of Horrors or the Pin-the-tail-on-the-Koopa tent. What do you guys think?"

"The Hall of Horrors! Because only horrible people would do this!" The King spoke up. "Besides, it's dark and I think there's a lot of places to hide there."

"I don't know," Luigi chipped in."It's like, too obvious you know?"

"I can see both sides," Mario said.

Just then, some of the clowns invited themselves back in with the gang. Soon, the tent was once again noisy and Mario covered his ears.

"Ugh. Okay, we'll vote on what to do, and quickly- but clowns don't vote!"

"Aww, I guess I can't vote then." the King half-joked.

They eventually decide to check out the Pin-the-tail tent and a few clowns tag along with them, being a distraction the entire way.

"I hate the circus now," they all agree.

To Be Continued.

Author note: Once again, you're missing out if you don't look up the original book. It's so bad it's good at times, and yes, 90% of what you just read is in the book. It's crazy. Anyway, please feel free to review!

Monster Mix-up

Chapter 3

Completed 4/6/16

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo and the Adventure Books to Archway Paperback.

Mario was so distracted he didn't notice where he was until he bumped into a portapotty door that was around the back of the tent.

"HEY OCCUPIED!" A woman screamed.

"Sorry sorry. Oh, I guess we're here now," Mario said. The clowns were slowly dispersing but he didn't see his crew.

"Hey, everyone?!"

"Here! Mario you might want to see this!" A voice called from the other side of the tent.

Mario walked around to see Luigi, Toad, and the King observing a large high resolution portrait of Bowser.

"This is amazing.." The King murmured. "How do they make it look so real?"

"Hey, like. I think it's just a photo," Toad said. With his popcorn long gone he was now eating one of those creepy Popsicles that look like faces. His in particular looked like Princess Peach. It was mildly disturbing.

Luigi turned to see Mario.

"What took you so long, bro?"

"Oh, it was nothing. Like I said before, I hate clowns but anyway, what's the deal here?"

"Well look for yourself," Luigi said, pointing to the crowd ahead.

A number of blindfolded people were wandering around holding paper tails with pins on them. Most of them were no where near the Bowser picture, but instead were wandering amongst crowds of regular people. Several instances of "ouch!" and "watch where you're going idiot!" could be heard.

"This can't be safe," Mario uttered. "Who's in charge here?"

"That would be me," a clown in pink answered.

Great, more clowns, Mario thought. "So what's really going on?"

"Well, can't you see? Pin the tail in the right place and you win two whole gold coins!"

"Oooh Mario! You know you like the bling!" Toad said nudging Mario slightly.

"Toad!" Mario looked around nervously, "Okay, we can all try okay?"

"Even me?" the King spoke up.

"Umm, sure your highness."

Mario and crew got blindfolded. Immediately something stuck Mario in the side.

"OUCH!"

"Oh- sorry..." the King whispered. Mario immediately regretted this.

"Okay, I'm going for the gold. Everyone else stay back."

They obeyed, mostly because they had already wandered off somewhere else. Mario cautiously walked forward. I'd better count my steps he thought. One, two, three- aha! Mario stuck the needle in something and a blinding flash went off again, though Mario didn't see it for obvious reasons. There was an explosion sound.

BOOM

"What just happened?! I can't see!"

After a moment of silence he took off the blindfold.

"Umm, well that was a blast. Did I win?"

"Yeah," Toad answered.

"Oh, Toad. You're okay and- wait, how would you know?"

"I cheated and had my blindfold off the whole time."

"Of course-" Mario looked around. "Wait, where are we now?"

"I dunno. When you pinned to tail on Bowser, that flash thing went off and- yeah..."

Mario, Toad and the King who was lying down nearby were in a quiet little valley. The circus and Luigi was no where to be found. Luigi is always smart enough to stay out of trouble, Mario thought.

"Look ahead, Koopa!" the King cried out.

Suddenly, Lemmy Koopa bounced towards the crew, balancing perfectly on a huge ball. He's wearing an all-too-familiar pink clown suit.

"I knew these clowns were evil," Mario groaned.

"Ha-ha-hoo-hoo-ha-ha!" Lemmy greeted them.

"I see Bowser let you join the circus finally," Mario crossed his arms. "No more games, buddy."

Lemmy smirked and revealed a small box with a red button in his hands.

"Wait-guys! He's gonna press that button!" Toad shouted.

"Too late.." the King whimpered.

"Yeah, too late suckers! Ten, nine, eight..." Lemmy scratched his head. "Uh, what comes before that?"

"Seven!" Mario shouted.

"Oh, uh, threetwoone!"

Suddenly Mario realized he was standing on thin air. After the cartoon physics wore off he plummeted to the ground. The ground beneath him had collapsed and he was somewhere dark.

"Not again!"

Someone landed on Mario.

"Oof!"

"Yo, Mario. It's me," Toad said.

"Just get off. Now where are we? I was starting to get used to that nice field."

"I don't know but first we lost the Princess, then Luigi, then the King. Hey, who do you think will disappear forever next? Me or you? I call you. I have secondary character immunity you know."

"Hey! None of us are disappearing anytime soon!" Mario looked around. There was a dark tunnel ahead. "Guess we'd better explore."

Mario and Toad cautiously walked through the dark path. After a moment beedy eyes peered from the darkness ahead.

"Uh, anyone home?" Mario called out.

Then they heard the clacking of sharp teeth. The first of the monsters lunged forward. It had a round black head surrounded by shiny leaves.

"Whoa! Why did we see anything like this in the freak show?" Toad said taking a step back.

"I don't know. That is a weird monster- and not the only one either!"

More monsters showed up. Upon closer inspection, they appeared to be Chain-Chomps mixed with Muncher Plants. They slowly made their way towards the two.

"Hey Mario, we need to make like a Princess and find another castle! Or, uh tunnel."

Mario cringed at that pun, but Toad was correct. Something had to be done, and soon!

To be continued

Author note: Well, this is where the actual book gets kind of convoluted. In the book, at this point you can branch off a lot of different ways (and if you make mistakes out will loop a lot. It's quite a mess) so I cut the chapter here so I can think about what I'll make Mario do. Again, if you've gotten this far, please check out the book! Thanks for reading

Monster Mix-up

Chapter 4

Created: 4/20/16

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo and the Adventure Books to Archway Paperback

The monsters were creeping closer and closer to Mario and Toad. As they backpedaled, Mario stumbled across a block of stone. Thinking quickly, he kicked it towards the monsters and they toppled like bowling pins.

"Way to go Mario!" Toad cheered.

"Yes, great work my boy!" The King said stepping from the shadows.

"Your highness, you're back?" asked Mario.

"Oh yes. After that Koopa fellow on the ball caused that horrible quake I saw you two falling. But I managed to get on solid ground in time-"

"And then Lemmy forced you down here too?"

"Uh well, no..." the King scratched his beard, "I sort of jumped down here?"

Mario shook his head. Toad laughed.

"Lol, the King is clueless as ever!"

"Toad, this is your King and I demand respect!" The King then stomped his feet resulting in a strange echo that murmured through the cave.

SSSSTTTtttooooooccccKkkk

Everyone shook and the King instinctively ran to a corner.

"Your highness, don't wander into the-!" Mario screamed.

As he did, the last remaining killer flower ferociously lunged from the darkness towards him. The King ducked at the last minute and it hit the wall behind him, proofing out if existence. The wall itself began to glow. Mario ran to the king and helped him to his feet.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh Mario thank you, but what on Earth is that?" he said pointing to the glowing wall.

The wall had Mario items on arranged in a 4x4 grid. A symbol of coins, mushrooms, flowers, hammers and a single star were included.

Mario took a closer look and silently observed the grid.

"It's like a puzzle!" the King quipped.

"Of course, King Sherlock.." Toad said.

"Whatever does that mean? Are you mocking me again?"

"Me? I would never do that-"

"Guys-" Mario interrupted, "-the grid just changed!"

Toad and the King looked towards the wall. Sure enough the grid had miraculously changed. Also glowing letters also appeared above: NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT?

"Hmm, with arbitrary puzzles like these, who needs narration?" Toad shrugged. "Oh, and there are at least two changes now."

"Yeah, that hammer us where a coin was. That must mean, I need to hammer us out of here!"

"Umm, actually Mario-"

"Oh yeah. After the day I've had, I need some stress relief-"

"Mario, that is not-"

"Hammer time!" Mario was suddenly wearing giant pants and sunglasses.

"MARIO!" Toad screamed as he tugged on Mario's arm.

"Toad, what?!"

"Look over here, fool!" Toad pointed to yet another puzzle inexplicably placed on a cave wall.

This time it was a series of square patterns with a helpful code legend to the side.

"Is that all?"

"Oh, well there's also a Chomp-Muncher right behind you."

"Whoa!"

Mario turned around but it was too late. The monster took a bite but only managed latch on his giant pants. They slipped right off of Mario revealing pink underwear with hearts on it and the monster took a run for it, dragging the pants with him.

Toad laughed. The King was busy shivering in a fetal position. Mario turned red.

"Umm, let's just solve this next puzzle," Mario said, wishing he had kept his overalls on.

"Already did. It says that to get out all goes down. Whatever that means."

"That was quick."

"Yeah, I took a linguistic class in Mushroom College...and a writing class, and a monarchy class, and a kitchen chemistry class, and a Soviet visual propaganda class. That last one though ...I'd rather forget about it..."

Mario thought for a moment that then felt a draft and shivered, a reminder that he was currently without pants.

"Okay, let's get back on track. So the hammer means what? We tear this place down?"

"Umm, Mario. The hammer doesn't mean-"

ZzzzzzzzzzZZZ!

Toad and Mario jumped, only to find out it was the King fast asleep.

"Big baby." Mario playfully said, then he felt another draft. "Yikes! I'm freezing. Let's figure this out now."

"Alright alright, notice how the word 'All' is on its own block?" Toad stepped closer to it. "Maybe we just need to fool around with this one."

"Let's-a go then!"

Mario and Toad poked and pried at the stone with 'all' on it. After much struggle they pulled it out slightly and a grating noise was heard.

"It's working, Toad. We need to get it all the way out!"

"Easy for you to say. You are the one with gloves on!"

They tried again and finally the brick was out. The surrounding bricks fell out also, revealing a hole large enough the be crawled through. Mario peeked inside the hole.

"Hmm, well there's a tunnel here. It leads out of the chamber. Wake the King up. We're gonna have to crawl through."

Toad groaned but obeyed.

"Yo, your majesty. Wake up!"

The King moved a bit and stayed sound asleep. Just then Toad looked back and saw Chomp-Munchers, only these looked quite larger than the ones they encountered before. They were steadily making their way toward the crew.

"What the?!- WAKE UP!" Toad violently shook the King.

"Good heavens! What is going on?! Those monsters are back and oh my, where is Mario's pants?"

"Your highness uh, never mind my lack of pants, we need to go, now!" Mario said while getting the King to his feet. Toad ran through the tunnel and Mario practically dragged the King with him.

Once they were on the other side the entire atmosphere was different. Instead of murky and organic, it felt cold and sterile. It was obviously man-made with its own dim lighting.

"I know I've said this a million times but, where are we?"

"Meh, I'll take it over that cave. At least it don't stank like old socks in here!" Toad said walking ahead. "Oh, man check this out. It even gets brighter as I walk down!"

"That's better right?" The King questioned.

"I would think so. I was never a fan of the dark side." Mario said.

"Really? I'd root for the empire any day." Mario and Toad shared a laugh.

As they walked down, the tunnel did indeed brighten up, right the the point were the opening was right ahead of them and natural sunlight poured in. The contrast between the outdoors and the tunnel was almost blinding. Mario was glad he had sunglasses on after all.

"Aww, yeah. It's over," Toad said fist pumping.

The King stopped dead in his tracks.

"What is that horrible thing ahead?!" The King cried.

Toad and Mario looked ahead and saw a flying machine that looked like two helicopters mixed with a kitchen blender. As it slowly flew across the grassy plain, dozens of strange monsters hopped out of the bowl on its back.

"Dude, a Koopa with a Chain-Chomp head just came out of that thing!" Toad shrieked.

"And a Buzzy Beetle with Goomba feet!" Mario said. "I might have not taken as many college classes as you Toad, but even I can see that this machine is obviously the cause of these mixed up monsters."

"Yeah? Well, it's heading this way."

"Uh oh... Think one of your college classes can help with this?"

"Me? Nope, I skipped the "avoiding attack helicopters" class. I did take an "identifying as attack helicopter" class but... I don't wanna talk about that either..."

Mario swallowed hard. Once again, fast decisions needed to be made.

To be continued.

Author note: Not much to say here. I intentionally chose some of the best options in the book so it would not get redundant. Believe me, if you mess up in this part of the book, you can end up reading the same pages over and over. There's even a puzzle that allows you to reset to the beginning of the book! Why you would do that? Who knows. Also, in the book the King has few lines and disappears a lot so that's why in this parody I constantly have him being useless. Last, I want to apologize for that attack helicopter joke. It was too obvious to resist. Please forgive me! Oh well, thanks for reading!

Monster Mix-up

Chapter 5

Created: 11/8/16

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo and the Adventure Books to Archway Paperback

Note: It's back and I'll try to wrap this up soon too! I'm including author notes in the story at points of interest. As usual, I will be spoiling solutions to puzzles in the book. Be warned.

"Quick, run this way!" Mario shouted. Toad and the King obeyed. They ran immediately to the right, right along a cliff edge. As they did so the King's 'not meant for walking on anything than polished marble' shoes caused him to loose balance and slow down. Mario looked back.

"Mario, they have me!" The King shouted.

"Your highness! Hold on!" Mario reached for the king but it was too late. The Koopa guards in pursuit had seized him. As Mario charged forward a particularly burly one pushed Mario back, right into Toad who had followed, and they both fell off the cliff into the crevice below.

As Mario looked up from the ten foot drop, he saw Bowser in his contraption looming over the cliff edge but not noticing them. Then a tractor beam of some sort pulled the King and a Koopa towards the machine.

"Quick, Toad!" Mario whispered. "That Bowser has the King! And a Koopa too!"

"Mario, I uh, think that might be intentional. Look!"

Just then the beaters of the mixing device whirred and the bowl spun. Out came a creature that looked like the King's crowned head on the body of a red Koopa Troopa!

Mario gasped. Toad covered his eyes. Soon Bowser and the remaining army stormed off, forgetting about Mario and Toad and taking the King hybrid with them.

"This is horrible. What now?" Toad asked in hysterics.

"We'll just have to take em down, Toad. Like always. Besides, I see another puzzle."

Off to the side was a brick wall with two unusual blocks.

"It's one of these puzzle things again. What does it mean?" Toad asked.

"Hmm. We solved the first one...kind of. We can solve this. Let's see here." Mario moved in for a closer inspection. "The top one says 'A Button: Keep on Moving' and the bottom one, 'Reset"Go back to the beginning'"

"Go back to the beginning? Why would we do that?"

"To cheat and get a high score," Mario answered, feeling quite meta. "Anyway, I think we want the top one."

When Mario pressed it, gold coins popped out. Or rather flew out, since there was a sudden strong wind in the area.

"Hey!" Toad cried, spinning around.

"This must be that hurricane that's coming to the Isle Delfino!" Mario bawls as he starts to spin as well.

Whoosh! The wind howls and suddenly Mario and Toad are carried away. They soon land in an open field. An open field right in front of-

"Hey I know where we are for once," Toad says. "It's-"

"Castle Koopa! And he sent the welcoming party."

A horde of Koopaish creatures move towards the pair. Mario and Toad start to run but Mario suddenly stops to take another look at the incoming army.

"M-Mario?" Toad asked looking back.

"Hold on, Toad," Mario put his hand on his chin. "I don't think Bowser was so efficient with his designs, if you can call it that."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, would you put Goomba feet on a Hammer Bro? Put a Piranha Plant on a Chain Chomp leash? Put Buzzy Beetle wings on a Bob-omb? Wait...that last one actually sounds dangerous-"

As Mario said so, the wobbly and unsafe "Buzzy Bomb" continued to March forward. Other savvy soliders tried their best to stay clear of the literal ticking time bomb.

"Uh, on second thought Toad. Let's scram!"

Eventually Mario and Toad made. It to a hill. The army was nowhere in sight. Mario sat down.

"What a dangerous day!"

"Meh, you obviously haven't been in Peach's Castle when- never mind." Toad suddenly changed the subject. "Hey you think everyone is alright?"

"That's the thing. I wish Luigi was here to see this."

"He would be as freaked out as we are."

"Yeah but that's the fun of it... You hear that?"

The roar of an marching army could be heard. Mario peeked over the hill. They hadn't lost them after all and the even gotten some backup. Among them was the dreaded "Buzzy Bomb" who had somehow not blew up.

"I'm deathly afraid of that thing but I must admit, that minion deserves a raise." Mario said. Toad nodded in agreement.

Just then the tanks fired and Bullet Bills soared above their heads. Mario and Toad duck. Then things got dark.

((Author note: I just want to point out that at this point, around page 120 it's super easy to repeat yourself due to choices involving the approaching army))

"I forgot my watch, but is it nighttime already?"

"No," Mario answered. "It's that!"

Mario points upwards. A giant three headed Soopa Koopa Paratroopa is heading straight for them.

"How did we not see that coming?!" Toad asked.

"GOTCHA!" The creature's booming voice says. Mario and Toad are snatched before they know it. In a matter of seconds they are carried off high into the clouds. Mario and Toad looked at each other, both thinking of what could go wrong if the monster decided to let go. As they fly, the creatures starts to loose feathers. Mario catches one.

"Hey, Bill!" One of the heads say.

"What, Scott?" Another answers.

"I'm getting tired...let's fly lower."

"Hmm. Yeah that sounds good. You know that mixer takes a lot out of ya."

"Yeah Scott. We're loosing feathers by the seconds. What do you say Scrumpus?"

"Ugh, whatever, just shut up you two!" the third one gripes.

Mario thought of a plan. If only they could get the creature to let go at a safe height. But how? He could tickle it with it's own feathers or make it sneeze.

"Mario, you thinking what I'm thinking?" Toad said.

"Yes. I'm going to make it sneeze with this!" Mario pulled out the feather.

((Author note: On page 27, if you tickle it the thing falls apart (not joking) and you get a Game over!))

Mario waited until they were over a tall hill and he flung the feather under Paratroopas' massive nostrils. The three voices suddenly chimeD in-

"Ah-ah-ah!- CHOOOOOOOOOO!"

This monster's sneeze was like a clap of thunder and Mario and Toad were set free on the steep hilltop. They rolled down to find that they were again at Bowser's Castle, though a different side of it than before. There are many normal Goomba guards, and they are all asleep on the job.

"Looks like we caught a break," Mario said, wiping his brow.

"You really think we can walk through them without touching anyone?"

((Author note: Yes you can on page 35. If you fail this puzzle you will- you guessed it! Be sent back to reread pages you've already read.))

As they tip-toed through, a badly sung chant was heard:

"Koopa, Koopa, rah, rah, rah!

Koopa, Koopa, sis-Bob-omb-bah!

Who's the meanest one of all?

Koopa! Koopa! That's our call!"

"Oh no, more guards. And I doubt they're sleep singing." Mario whispered.

Toad glanced around. "All I see is a pile of rocks ahead or some bushes behind us. Which way to go?"

To be continued...

I'm going to try to wrap it up next chapter. The book gets convoluted here and random choices can make you either die or loose a lot of progress for no reason. Stay tuned!

Monster Mix-up

Chapter 6

Created: 11/8/16

Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo and the Adventure Books to Archway Paperback

Note: I'm abbreviating events here a bit more than I have in the past. Let's finish this!

The two heroes dashed for the shrubs. They waited until the guards marched past.

"Everyday they sing that stupid song..." A voice complained. It was the bush talking!

"You guys can talk?" Mario asked, baffled.

"Yes."

"Yep"

"Uh huh."

"Duh!"

"Yeah!" They all answered. Soon they were chatting away with each other.

"This is just strange," Toad whispered to Mario.

"Definitely so...But maybe they can help us. They see this castle everyday, they have to have info. Hey bushes!" Mario called out.

"Yes?'

"Yep?

"Huh?"

"Duh?"

"What?"

"Since you live in the neighbourhood, would you know the best way into Bowser's Castle?"

"Oh, sir you should try the front door," a purple flowered bush answered first. "It's never guarded and when it is, it's just some minimum wage high school Koopa who's one his phone all day."

"No! The secret entrance! The secret entrance!" A particularly excited yellow flowered bush replied.

((Author note: You don't want to take the secret entrance. You will loose progress or gameover!))

"Thanks guys. I think I know what to do. Let's go Toad."

"Bye!"

"See ya!"

"Goodbye"

"Duh!"

"So-long!" The chatty bushes said their good byes as the two heroes headed toward the front door. They were given a nasty surprise. Installed was an enigmatic lock consisting of three wheels mounted on a metal plate.

"Uh oh. Bowser isn't as dull as I thought. He actually has some competent looking locks in place!"

"Yeah, the 'Daily Mushroom' had an article on this kind of lock. You have to roll the left wheel around the right one. To unlock it, you have to figure out which way the left wheel with end up."

"Uh, I still don't get it." Mario said. "Can't we uh, just knock the whole thing down?"

"No, remember sleeping guards out there? Besides, I think it'll be upside down."

"Toad, you seem cleverer than me this time and I'll have to trust you. Here goes nothing."

Mario made his choice and inserted the wheel in the third spot.

((Author note: Again, you don't want to mess this puzzle up!))

After a little fiddling, the wheel dropped into place and the door swung open with a squeal. They creeped through the dark castle searching for their friends. Mixed up guards were everywhere, but fortunately their incompatible combinations hindered them and Mario and Toad managed to sprint away from them all. At last, toward the back of the main room, they saw the Princess and King in a dingy and smelly cell.

"Peach! Your highness!" Mario called. The Princess looked up.

"Mario! Toad! Thank the stars!"

"Princess, glad you are okay. And completely yourself!" Toad said panting.

"Oh, yes. I know about what Bowser is doing. Father told me all about it."

"Peach, what's been going on here?"

"The moment me and Luigi got separated from you guys, we were captured. We tried the fight them off but what we saw was just too bizarre and freakish."

"I hear ya." Mario said, Toad nodded. "Wait, did you mention Luigi? Where is he?"

Peach looked around uncomfortably. "I was getting to that. I was locked away with Luigi for a while until Daddy joined us. Then just before you came, they took Luigi. I think their going to..."

"Oh no. I have to go after Luigi! Now!"

"But the Princess and King too!" Toad said.

"Hmm. You are right. Luigi will be okay for a second, he is a Mario brother after all." Mario effortlessly snapped the cheap locks holding the Princess and King in.

((Author note: Strangely whether you choose to save the Princess first or Luigi doesn't affect anything. The dialogue will be slightly different but you won't get a gameover or anything.))

Mario lead the way out of the cell, soon the four friends are creeping through the dim castle halls. After going in circles for a moment they halted.

"Umm, Mario? Where are we going?" Peach asked worriedly.

"Oh, darling I think I know where to go," the King spoke up after being strangely silent. "I don't know why, I just have the strangest feeling. Instincts one might say!"

"Yes, we should trust daddy," Peach declared.

"I don't know," Mario said. "I respect you, your Highness but you are mixed with a Koopa."

"Yes I know Mario, I was mixed with a particularly dumb Koopa but I feel twice as smart now!- Or...should I be admitting that?"

Toad chuckled and then whispered. "Mario, we can trust him. That's our King alright!"

The King-Troopa lead the way on some high-speed sneaking around. They soon came across another locked door.

"Ooh ooh, my Koopa instincts are at it again!"

"Spit it out-your highness! I think I heard footsteps coming near!" Mario said peeking around a corner.

"Okay, it's a trick lock. The design on the gate is a portrait of Bowser drawn by 'Abstracto Tortuga'."

"Never heard of him," Toad said.

"Well I have...subconsciously. Anyway you have to trace it and not lift your pen or overlap the lines. You have a pen right?"

"Yes in fact, and let's make this quick," Mario said impatiently.

((Author note: This puzzle on page 57 is annoying, because if you get to this point of the book by the most efficient method [as in not repeating pages you've already read] you will not have a pen. The book gives you an option to acquire it but you are going to lose progress though, and have to save the Princess and King all over again.))

"Guys let me do it," Peach said. "I've been studing art recently, and vaguely remember this guy. He is often used to show people how not to be an artist. He never finished school and when he couldn't sell his paintings, he had to eat them! He had a strange underground Koopa following though..."

As she spoke she took the gold pen and traced around the shoddy portrait. The doors swung themselves open to reveal Bowser's thrown room with Bowser waiting for them, but he wasn't alone.

"What timing!" Bowser gave the heroes a toothy grin. "Now I don't have to send for you. Isn't that right?"

The area around his thrown was jammed with Koopa creatures. Some cheering Bowser on, others staring mesmerizingly the monster mixer in the middle of the room.

The heroes looked closer and gasped. In front of the mixer was Luigi being held by a burly soldier.

"Luigi!" Mario shouted and stomped his foot. Bowser laughed at the family reunion.

"Well now that the gangs all here, we can have some interesting experiments," Bowser sneered. Mario started to charge forward but the Princess held him back.

"Wait, Mario. There is a lot of freaks in here. Not even you can take them all on," Peach plead.

"But- but..." Mario looked towards Luigi who recognized the look on his brother's face.

"It's okay bro, you tried your best" Luigi said sadly, but then he gave a wink that only Mario seemed to notice. Bowser laughed even more evil than before.

"Seized them!" Bowser ordered and immediately the guards were on it. Mario was dragged next to Luigi and the other three off to the side.

"Now, let's mix the Mario bros with a Koopa. I should wind up with a jumping, fighting, dumb Troopa."

"You fiend!" The Princess spat.

"Ha ha. That's me!"

As Mario looked on he noticed Luigi motioning to a stone block above. Mario gave him a confused look.

"Bro, that block contained a star last time we invaded the castle," Luigi whispered. Mario caught on.

"And while Bowser was smart enough to change the clocks, he doubt he changed the level design! Good job, Weegee!"

Mario suddenly picked up the Koopa next to them and kicked it towards the block.

"You hit it!" Luigi yelled. "Now jump!"

The star fell into the mixing bowl and the Mario bros jumped after it. Everyone in the room gasped, including Bowser. The bowl stopped with an awful crash!

A two headed figure jumped out.

"Hey!" Mario said.

"What bro?" Luigi answered.

"Two heads are better than one!"

Instead of laughing at the bad joke Bowser's army went mad. They ran in hysterics at the double plumber, as tall as two Luigis and flashing in invincibility. Chaos reigned. Minions ran everyone, out of windows, and often defeated each other in the process. The Princess and the others were released in the panic and quickly got out of the way of the commotion. Bowser picked up a radio and shouted incomprehensible orders. He then dodged behind his throne. A back door opened and the Koopalings poured out but immediately gasped in horror.

"What is that thing?!" Morton shrieked like a girl.

Lemmy just fainted.

"I want my mommy!" Iggy cried hugging his secret Chain Chomp plush.

"No one knows who our mothers are," Roy grumbled.

"Or our fathers for that matter," Morton clarified. "Because it sure isn't Bowser but no one asked me-"

"That's right, we didn't ask you," Ludwig interrupted. "Now attack-er uh hey!?"

The Mario bros dropped by and effortlessly bounced on all of their heads. They were defeated before they knew it and ran off, wondering why they were suddenly in the story at the last minute anyway.

They then stomped on the Monster Mixer, in a matter of seconds it was a scrap heap. When they finally turned to Bowser we was gone.

"Rats!" the Luigi head said. "He had a secret exit behind the throne."

"Oh well, we'll get him next time."

"I guess we will," Peach said as she and the others returned to the now emptied room. "And we have to find a way to reverse this."

"Oh uh yeah. I guess so. Or this could get awkward soon," Mario said. "Any ideas?"

Peach looked thoughtful. "Maybe a soup-strainer?"

"I just want some popcorn. I never got to finish mine!" Toad said.

"Oh no, my Koopa senses again!" The King said. Everyone looked at him expectantly. "What? It's just saying I'm hungry!"

Everyone laughed.

The End

Yes this is mostly how it ends. We never see the actual cure so basically a good portion of the kingdom is still mixed up! Thanks for reading. I own three more of these books and I'm hoping to find more. I really recommend them, just for the absurdity, though the writing is at time suspect. As I said before, this is one of the weaker books but it was still a fun read and fun to write.